I
Crepe-Away, a magical product, flashes across the screen
It will restore your dry, feeble, ancient flesh to
Springy glory, irresistible to your spouse and strangers.
Actresses and ice skaters swear by its qualities, the way it
Delves into your cells to coax out what was once there.
II
Puerto Rico will not be saved.
The costs of living in the path of havoc
Will not be covered by the government
Because reasons.
Perhaps aid will come if they become a state,
But they’re just a distant island now
And anyway, it’s not Katrina, you know?
And then there are some Nobel Prize winners.
One man was totally shocked to get the call;
He feared that the noise was a coming storm.
III
The Icelandic people LOVE their volcanoes.
These steamy vents are scenic appliances,
Used for cooking eggs,
Baking bread long-term.
If this weird symbiosis is troubling, you’d never know it.
Later, the travel host sits down at a stump with a cheerful, dry-witted man
To taste rotten shark.
“Viking candy,” the native deadpans.
The host takes a bite and chews,
A ballet of disgust enacted on his facial muscles.
IV
The local news is quiet today.
The antler arch is lit up pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
V
Kamala Harris (D-California) is discussing the importance of DACA and tax reform
Pat Toomey (R-PA), clearly agitated, argues that the sources used
Are left-leaning.
“This doesn’t mean their research is wrong, but let’s not pretend they don’t have bias,”
He says, weary.
Mr. King (I-Utah) cites the future.
“I don’t want our children inheriting our debt.”
Five year olds, he says, would evict them all.
VI
Former Chair & CEO of Equifax, Inc.
Is offering new services
To protect oneself from breach.
Safe software
An ability to scan the dark web for your information
Available reports
Better locking technology
He is being quizzed on the hundreds of millions of dollars spent on cybersecurity
He can’t keep track of the money.
The Senator has little patience for his roaming wallet.
VII
Father and son fix a filter in a car together.
The son moves it an inch to the right.
The father smiles.
Student has surpassed Teacher.
There are shoulder pats and well-slung grease rags.
Invest in your future with Cyprus Credit Union, and you too
Can bond and poke engines.
VIII
Southerners are suspicious of a neatly dressed old man who enters a diner.
Some folks are nervous about decorations and preparations and so forth.
A wedding, filled with tension, is at stake.
A moody man goes fishing.
Perhaps
He will heed his mother’s speech.
IX
Stylish hipsters earnestly gaze at laptops
In their industrial work space
Drama is about to commence.
Relationship problems, stemming from Misconduct In The Club and Friendship Ruptures,
Are blooming.
X
Mark Wahlberg and friends are at the bar.
They love football and beer and each other.
The bartender philosophizes:
“You know how it works in South Philly?
Our strength has always been in
Our numbers.”
XII
The ladies of Pitch Perfect
Sit around a campfire
And the sound is off
What a beautiful piece
of accasurrealism.
XIII
Shirts!
They never fit just right.
Men!
Design your own online.
Love! Acclaim! Style!
All yours, with this handy-dandy app.
XIV
There is great intrigue and speculation as to
Which tire was punctured.
You see, we have to know
Who hit the brakes
and Why
A twist will come after thorough investigation
And these messages.
XV
Father and son, long estranged, are having a discussion about ethics.
Son believes that Father, despite transgressions, still has shreds of decency.
Father maintains that he is completely subject to the rules of his employer
And that, while the Son has trained well in his chosen profession,
It won’t keep him from being terminated.
The Son – once angry, now Zen-like – reiterates: YOU’RE GOOD. YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.
The Daughter, meanwhile, is focused on sneaky but proactive butt-kicking.
XVI
A charming, older lady gently chastises a young boy for stealing a candy bar
From the convenience store.
He departs, and she and the clerk discuss
His essential goodness, buried under misguided ventures.
Then, while she checks out the Thanksgiving birds,
Two men, dressed all in black and touting guns, burst in
And because it’s a convenience store
And because they’re filled with rage at the world,
We all know how this ends.
Incidentally, Mark Wahlberg returns, this time with
The Scowl of Revenge.
XVII
The Old Man and his Charge walk through the immaculate white.
King’s Cross, minus trains,
Ruminating on connections forged in pain,
The twists of fate and love,
And choice.
The Charge is realizing that he must go back to the struggles of the world he left
So violently
Must be brave enough to live on
And fight.
He’ll go back, and end a saga.
XVIII
“We’ve got a smart guy named Jonathan -”
“Little lonely, little lonely -”
“What are the odds he’d meet someone in a psychology chatroom?”
“We should message all the girls in the chatroom: Do any of you know a girl named Kelsey Beezlebub?”
Catfishing afoot.
Bric-a-brac Squared 